I think. I think a lot. Too much, truth be told. This blog is the result of my thinking. It is me sharing my thoughts with the world, as best as I can organize them in a way that others might understand. I am a fan of speculation, making theories, trying to figure out the outcomes of certain events. I also daydream. I come up with some great ideas by daydreaming. I can also waste a lot of time daydreaming.
I also have the problem of dwelling on particular thoughts. I over think things, or in some cases dwell on things that have passed. I would do this a lot in 2016. I had just moved back to Indiana, no job, few friends, and hurting. I would run through so many “what if” scenarios in my head, that I would almost forget reality. It was always “what if I went to a different school?” “What if I studied something different?” “What if this?” “What if that?”
I would get into an endless loop of thought. We always think things will be better if we did something differently. Sometimes that is true. Our actions do make a difference and do have consequences. We cannot dwell on what could have been and must face reality. That was difficult for me. It is difficult for others as well. Reality can be cruel. I’d rather just sit here and run what-if scenarios in my head, reflecting on what could have and could be. I don’t want to deal with reality. However, this won’t change anything. Reflecting on the could-have-been does not help with changing the here and now. I would know, I have struggled with that many times.
Finding the strength to get out of one’s own head is a difficult thing indeed. Trying to make a real change is even more difficult. For some, things seem to just move. That is another topic for another time. The important thing is to break the reflection, to get out of one’s own head. I struggle with depression. I struggle with it to this day, and will likely for the rest of my life. Getting out of my head and back into reality is not easy. And yet it is something that must be done. I still struggle with it from time to time. Every day is a new day, which I can also dread. Yet, it is a day to try to be something new. It is a day to remember that what is old is behind us, and something new is ahead.
Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
We are to be made into a new creating. What is old is gone, what is past is behind us. There is nothing we can do to change that. No amount of what-ifs or dwelling on what is done can change the past. We are to move forward and be something new. Reconcile with those who have hurt us or we have harmed. Forgive others. Ask for forgiveness. Right our wrongs. Seek reconciliation. Most importantly, grow. These are the things that are required to be something new. However, all of this is impossible without to truly achieve without seeking Christ Jesus. We must reflect something new.